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How Becoming Fiercely Honest Changed My Life

February 13, 2018 By Toiia L. Rukuni 20 Comments

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I recently read an amazing article in “Redbook,” featuring Gabrielle Union. Gabrielle Union’s life is an open book. Her best selling memoir, which is still on my book wish list: We’re Going to need more wine is possibly the most unfiltered autobiography that has ever existed. She’s made some mistakes and had some major setbacks, then used them to her advantage to grow by leaps in bounds in every area of her life. That complete authenticity and development has inspired this blog post, and for me to dig deeper and to follow in her footsteps.

Over the past few years with the loss of both my parents, and losing countless relatives and friends that were very close to me. I have discovered that life is too short not to live in purpose, and that I always have room for growth, and improvement on this life journey. These things have forced me to become fiercely honest with myself. I am quite aware of the self-doubt monster when it comes to making huge life-changing decisions that affect the path that I took to become more in-tune with myself, and to truly hear the word of God. Now, that is where it gets a little interesting when being honest with myself. The word of God can become somewhat, “muffled,” when I am in the middle of those life-happening moments, and that is when I have to remember who I am and whose I am. I believe that this is the only way to reach a true confidence breakthrough, and to move forward in a positive manner.

Listen, I decided that instead of growing weak, and being swallowed by grief, guilt, and desperation for my loved ones. Girl, I had to grow stronger, and really believe in the things that are seen and unseen, and that is faith! I had to grow stronger through these gut-wrenching life experiences, in order for my children to see a fearless mother in the agony of defeat and sometimes literal anguish from day-to-day emotional stressors. As a result, the complete authenticity surfaced, and has been the catalyst of my personal development successes. This year, I had to begin to pay more attention to my prayer life. I noticed that I didn’t pray as consistently as I did in years past, so I had to re-visit that overlooked chapter. I asked God to allow me to dig deeper, with the people that I want to serve, and the life-goals that I desire to achieve to leave a life-long legacy for my children.

My heart is with making a difference in the lives of others while growing endless courage and honesty in myself. I had to begin with returning to praying every morning before I start my day. I had to join like-minded women in bible study group near my home, and not online. I choose to do the creative hands-on projects, take more frequent walks, and pull out my yoga mat, instead of letting it collect dust in my bedroom. I release my feelings and emotions in writing and storytelling, and really taking inventory of my life, and stay away from needless distractions that are not good for the harvest. I have shared some of the things that I am actively putting into practice. Here are a few steps for you to follow:

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Create a thankful list
I wake up every morning and thank God and HIS beloved son Jesus for a sound mind, healthy body, and a joyful and willing spirit.

You can create a list of at least 5 things that you are thankful for everyday, and write in your journal or notebook, or post it where you can see it as a constant reminder that you are abundantly thankful for everything that is God-given!

Shut down negativity
This is one of my favorites, because I simply cannot function in negative situations, negative people, or negative things in my life. I will head for the hills very quickly, without looking left or passing go.When someone begins gossiping, speaking negativity into your life, just be like “I can’t.” It really stops people in their tracks. You have to do it with a little wink and a smile. Take the time to be aware of you let into your personal space.

Make your dreams tangible
I make a vision board, or attend a vision board workshop almost every year. Some of things on my vision board have manifested into an awesome reality, while other things were so very God-directed that all I could so is just thank HIM for HIS grace and mercy.

As my goals begin to grow, so does my vision board. I am a huge visual learner, so creating a vision board, writing goals in my journal, and speaking affirmations are the tools that I use to make my dreams more tangible, visible, and doable!

Maintaining to never stop laughing
I decided that through all the hardships that I should never stop laughing, smiling, and having fun! I think that it is important to laugh through the pain, and to handle obstacles with a fierce sense of humor. I started watching more comedic movies, sharing jokes with my children, and living in the moment without any regrets.

Stay in constant prayer
Praying is the one thing that I do that keeps my faith in order, it is like having a superpower that I have to keep in arsenal to battle the negativity in the world. I have to keep the love of God in my heart, and keep all the angels in heaven in constant song.

I have seen so many people give up on their faith, and one of the reasons is that they stopped believing in the power of prayer. This is the year, that my hope is that my prayer life continues to grow stronger, and at the same time work towards the things that will create a strong spiritual foundation for my family.

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Comments

  1. Lia World Traveler says

    February 14, 2018 at 9:13 am

    Fierce honesty really is the best way to be, but it can be difficult to maintain at times especially when the recipient of the honesty isn’t necessarily open to it. Thank you for the tips.

    Reply
    • Toiia L. Rukuni says

      February 14, 2018 at 9:21 am

      Lia, being fiercely honest is such a work in progress and very difficult to maintain, but I believe that the recipient of the honesty will eventually see you changing, and hopefully that will encourage them to change and grow, and take a serious look at themselves in the process!

      Reply
  2. Sheena Steward says

    February 14, 2018 at 9:17 am

    Yes!!!! Such great motivation and a great way to start my day. These are things we all can do to do better in life.

    Reply
    • Toiia L. Rukuni says

      February 15, 2018 at 8:36 am

      Sheena you are very welcome! I love it!

      Reply
  3. Lauren Gay says

    February 15, 2018 at 11:20 pm

    I love the thankfulness list everyday. I think I will try to incorporate that.

    Reply
    • Toiia L. Rukuni says

      February 18, 2018 at 9:06 pm

      I really hope that you create a thankfulness list everyday, it helps with realizing that you have bountiful blessings already all around you everyday that God gives to you!

      Reply
  4. Antoinette Cain says

    February 16, 2018 at 3:24 am

    I’m loving this. Blessings to you on this journey!

    Reply
    • Toiia L. Rukuni says

      February 18, 2018 at 9:04 pm

      Thank you so much Sis!

      Reply
  5. Kiwi says

    February 16, 2018 at 9:12 am

    I think shutting down the negativity is a great step to change anyones life. Constantly prayer and affirmation can change your life around as well.

    Reply
    • Toiia L. Rukuni says

      February 18, 2018 at 9:04 pm

      I believe that prayer and affirmations really help to set boundaries against any negativity and so important to apply in daily life routines.

      Reply
  6. Terri says

    February 16, 2018 at 9:56 am

    I don’t even know what to say. I can relate so much to this post. Honesty and living with purpose are some of my main focuses for the year. BTW, I love those white and black shoes at the end of the post.

    Reply
    • Toiia L. Rukuni says

      February 18, 2018 at 9:00 pm

      Terri, I am so grateful that you can relate t this post. I love the black and white heels too! LOL!

      Reply
  7. Elle (Cleverly Changing) says

    February 16, 2018 at 9:57 am

    This post is very inspiring. I agree with so much of the tips you shared. My number 1 favorite tip is to get rid of negativity because I think that is one of the top problems that most people share.

    Reply
    • Toiia L. Rukuni says

      February 18, 2018 at 8:59 pm

      Elle, I am a true believer of setting boundaries and getting rid of any negativity in my life. I am beyond thankful that you were inspired by this post, that truly is why I write to inspire and uplift others on my blog.

      Reply
  8. Ola says

    February 19, 2018 at 6:43 am

    I’m so sorry about ur loss of your loved ones. I found that sticking to the goal of reading the Bible every day helps Need to center myself. It also gives me the right topics for which I should be praying. This is a worthwhile goal and helps and all aspects of life especially when dealing with grief.

    Reply
  9. Courtney CJ says

    February 19, 2018 at 11:36 am

    I really need to get back into reading my devotionals -as soon as I wake up-. I used to have a routine and do it when I got to work but I’m in a new environment and would prefer to do it at home. I appreciate this as a reminder! I also love the “Gratitude” corner on my planner sheets. It always keeps me in perspective.

    Reply
  10. Joyce Brewer says

    March 23, 2018 at 6:57 pm

    Joining a small group at my church has helped me tremendously. I get to see adults every week and talk about our every day challenges.

    Reply
    • Toiia L. Rukuni says

      March 24, 2018 at 2:52 pm

      Joyce that is so wonderful that you have joined a small group at church to have adults to talk to every week, the work that we do can cause so much isolation at times too. I really enjoy going to Bible Study on Wednesdays and a foodie group once a month with like-minded women to discuss life!

      Reply
  11. Kita says

    March 26, 2018 at 12:02 pm

    I totally feel this post. One of the things I made a promise to do was be myself at all times. Unapologetic and not hiding has made me so much happier. If people don’t like it, I am Unbothered. It’s your life to live. Do you.

    Reply
    • Toiia L. Rukuni says

      March 26, 2018 at 6:06 pm

      Kita, I am so thankful that you feel this post. I think that life is so much easier when you just face, live, and speak your own truth, by being honest it will free you from so much foolishness!

      Reply

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Mother of the World is an empowerment blog for women around the world, specifically those living in United States, Africa, Europe, Canada, and the Caribbean. I am Toiia L. Rukuni a Mommy/Life Style Blogger and Pinterest Marketing Strategy coach based in Atlanta, GA.

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