When I look back on my wedding day August 23, 2003, I can’t believe that it has been eleven years, two children, two countries, and moving across country, since I read my vows, went on my honeymoon, celebrated with family and friends, it was one of the happiest days of my life. As I reflect on those memories I began to think of the phrase; “something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue.” These are the essential items that a bride requires on her wedding day for good luck, however overtime I believe that the meaning of this phrase transcends time in a healthy marriage. These are good luck charms that are usually given to the bride by their mother, sisters, relatives, and other attendants on the wedding day.
Something old represents continuity, something new offers optimism for the future, something borrowed represents borrowed happiness, and something blue represents purity, love, and fidelity, and a sixpence in your shoe is for good fortune and prosperity. I think about all the things that I didn’t know before I became married, and everything that I am learning and continue to learn during my marriage. I find myself reflecting on how this phrase can mean so much to a new bride. I could not get this phrase out of my mind for a few days, so I decided to blog about it. I rarely write anything about relationships or marriage. My focus has been on my children and keeping myself healthy. In lieu of my children it is beneficial to nourish my marriage which is the foundation for my family. I believe in the power of written word to make it plain in life.
The something old which represents continuity is the growth in our marriage. I think that when you wed your college sweetheart and best friend, you both grow and mature as individuals in the relationship. You continue to learn the fundamentals of the reason why you married that person in the first place, and the essential tools to stay focused to make each day your best day as a couple. When you love someone you make sacrifices for yourself and your marriage. You learn to take each day in stride, and not to set yourself up for disappointment or failure. You learn to embrace every moment that you have with that person. You begin to look at that person through all of their faults, imperfections, and habits that may test your nerves and patience. But, you will remember the day that the person became your lifetime partner.
The something new offers optimism for the future. The something new for our family has been the planning and birth of our children. We have been blessed with a handsome son, and a beautiful daughter. Our children have brought so much love and joy to our marriage. I treasure each day that I get to share with them, to watch them grow and thrive in the world is so amazing to me. I feel truly blessed and honored to be their mother. I can’t imagine to this day what I have done to deserve these two beautiful blessings.
The something borrowed represents borrowed happiness. I really did not experience borrowed happiness until the passing of my parents. I remember the day that my parents prepared me for my first day of preschool when my Dad walked me down the aisle on my wedding day, and that cold day in January when they both dropped me off for the first day at Michigan State University my freshman year of college. I feel that my happiness became borrowed because those days went by so fast in my memory. However, the happiness that I experienced I can share with my children two fold to make their lives rich and meaningful today.
The something blue translates into the sad times, bad times, hard times, that you experience as a couple as you make the journey through life together. You may lose loved ones who make their transition during your marriage. You may lose your dream job because of layoffs or pay cuts. You may experience financial loss, or hardships due to illness of a spouse. The something blue can be anything that may cause you and your spouse to realize that you have to take care of each other, even when you may become bitter or angry and get to the root of the heart ache and pain. You and your life partner should work as a team to move forward to create a beautiful rainbow at the end of your love story.